I look at this photo and it really triggers a strong memory of not feeling lovable or enough as a little girl. And I am realizing it’s all about not knowing…discovering, and connecting the dots to now, which leads me to accepting and loving Self now. My not knowing that I was lovable then has actually been the disguised gift, the catalyst, that brought me to this very place, this very moment in my quest for self-realization, forgiveness, acceptance and true love of Self. If I had known then that I was indeed lovable, my passions, inspirations, my calling if you will, would be something completely different, and then I would not be the “me” that I am today. Often times what we struggle with in our personal lives becomes the teacher’s fire to help others heal if we are willing to be raw; ready-able-willing to heal ourselves.
I was raw as a little girl, always eager to please, to find the warmth in someone’s eyes, seeking attention, wanting to belong. And I am still raw today, still eager to please, but not from a co-dependent place. I am eager to help other’s to heal from a personal knowing of how one’s life can shift immeasurably from despair to fulfillment. I have been blessed with a profound deep purpose to seek to understand others in their own human-mess. Ironically it was born out of my personal pain from when I was a child.
So no, I do not wish I could go back and tell myself what I know now… because then I would not have become the who I am now, in this moment.