Being tender and open is beautiful.
As a woman, I feel continually shush’ed. Too sensitive, Too mushy, Too wishy washy. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.
~ Zooey Deschanel, American actress
Zooey is not alone. I have felt shush’ed for being Too needy, Too much, Too dramatic, Too out there… And the exposure of Donald Trump’s unapologetic “locker room talk” has made me profoundly aware of just how minimized we are as a feminine race, ALL of US, around the world. I had not yet truly grasped, comprehended, the magnitude of this imbalance. I have my own personal story of sexual abuse as do most women I know, but I was still living with it partially hidden inside the “numbing box”, a part of my heart that is used for the pieces of my life that I can’t live too close to because of the uncomfortableness and pain. But Donald Trump has happened to us, and he has given us a gift! AND before you slam shut your computer, consider this; he is the voice of what “MUST NOT BE TOLERATED ANY LONGER.” I am actually grateful for his BIG presence, because he is our wake up call, the clarion call of Intolerance. Something broke inside that numbing box this week, something gave way to my deep sadness and devastation, over the profound understanding of just how much painful shit has been heaped on women for centuries, and that we as a people, men and women, have become tolerant and complacent with how far removed we are from caring tenderly for a woman. And do not underestimate the power in treating another human being with tenderness. It is our vulnerabilities that make us most human and approachable, and this is where the possibility of connection happens. We have become soulfully disconnected from one another, and this is why we’ve been able to hurt so many women…we are too far from her to notice the human being living inside of her. A powerful passage out of “Love Warrior” authored by Glennon Doyle Melton, speaks so well to this, “I am in here, I am more than you can see. I am a soul and a mind, as well as a body—and all of me is saying no. Don’t do that to me.”
Someone once told me, “Men desire to be respected, and Women desire to be cherished.” How often do you hear, “I demand to be respected!” But have you ever heard a woman say, “I demand to be cherished!” It’s time- it’s time that we demand to be cherished, revered, treated equal in value, AND respected. As does every human being on this earth. WE all have contributed to masculine and feminine imbalance. We create our existences, we train the world how to be in relationship. The WE I’m referring to are our families, communities, societies, governments, and religions. But let us begin here, with ourselves, and show her a little tenderness.